Locked out, and yet…
By Pringle Franklin
I did not remember that the battery was dead in my minivan until I was standing in my driveway, ready to head over to the gym. Luckily, my son’s Ford was available.
Losing no time, I located his car key and dropped my clunky keychain on the kitchen counter. This move would prove short-sighted. Twenty minutes later, I was locked out of the fitness facility; my handy-dandy door clicker was back home, on my keychain.
Perhaps someone was in the lobby. I peered through the glass door; the comfy club chairs were vacant. I watched, waiting for someone to come down the stairs, but the place appeared to be deserted. The workout space lies on the second floor, and people up there can’t see the entrance. I sent a text message to the gym manager and waited. She did not reply.
Rats! What a waste of time and energy.
This was the fork in the road, the moment when I paused to consider my reaction: was I going to succumb to a sense of rising frustration, or was I going to reclaim the interior peace which had enveloped me earlier that morning during my time of Centering Prayer?
Centering Prayer (also known as Contemplative Prayer within the Catholic Church) means sitting in silence and letting go of your busy thoughts to receive awareness of God’s presence. Usually I sit this way for 30 minutes a day. The main difference between this and Eastern Meditation is the seeking of the person of Jesus Christ within the quiet.
The impact of this silent devotion is beyond measure. A regular practitioner will receive the grace to handle life’s bumps with more calm and detachment. This is because the Holy Silence clears away emotional and mental debris and expands the space available to the head and heart. This fresh space gives the soul someplace solid to stand; it also buffers the mind from the noise, stress, and frenetic pace of modern life.
Still Waiting!
Finding myself locked out at the gym, I could actually choose which feelings to pay attention to — agitation or calm expectation that all would be well.
Lord, I surrender myself to you and your will in this undesired situation. May I trust your love and remain firmly planted in your peace.
After that, I felt an enormous sense of relief. It was no longer about bending life to accommodate my wishes or burning off my belly fat. It was about tapping into the flow of the Spirit, inviting Him to wash over me.
My breathing slowed. I stood calmly, focusing my awareness on the Holy Presence. Whatever would happen, would happen. I would wait, watch, and see what arose.
Five minutes passed without anyone coming along. Yet now, the empty quiet of this place felt relaxing. Birds chirped. The wind blew gently through the nearby tree tops. I was content, sensing that my work was simply to stay soft and at ease.
Before long, a woman came ambling down the road, headed toward the adjacent golf course. When she drew near, I waved to catch her eye. Did she happen to have one of those door opener gadgets?
She did. Moments later, I was headed upstairs toward the rowing machine. By God’s grace, not only could I work out, but I had exercised my mental and spiritual muscles by staying calm.
Rejoice always; pray without ceasing. Give thanks in every circumstance.
Thessalonians 5:16-18
In the hiccup of the locked gym door, the gift was the ability to remain at ease during the uncertainty.
Staying centered on Him completely changes the experience of any problem. Notice, I did not say the problem would go away. It may or may not, as God wills. But you can endure life’s ups and downs with more equanimity.
Life will become smoother; you will be less tired and worn out, because you won’t waste as much energy worrying and attempting to control situations. You will begin to take the long view and shrug off the first wave of negative, selfish emotion that hit you.
For example…
Recently I was on my knees cleaning the bathroom floor and shower stall after a family member’s stomach illness. As I scrubbed, I experienced a visceral sense of revulsion at the sharp stench. I’m not sure I can keep doing this!
Instead of focusing on the unpleasant sights and smells, I turned my attention inward. The situation did not change, yet I became less aware of my disgust. God gave me the grace to clean slowly and thoroughly, offering my efforts up to the Lord in honor of Him.
The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. As you discover the Way, you will begin to feel the almost vibrational flow of his Spirit around you. This resource can be grabbed like a lifeline when you are struggling to act kindly.
Just yesterday, I sat through a well-attended author lecture; naturally a crowd of us washed over to the kiosk afterwards to buy the featured books. As I was waiting in line to pay, the person directly ahead of me let one of her friends cut into the line. This new lady was buying three books!
This was annoying. The two ladies, pleased with themselves, were giggling together like school girls. I did not say anything, but I wrestled with thoughts such as How rude! She didn’t even apologize or wink to acknowledge the inconvenience.
The lengthy and disorganized check-out line crept at a snail’s pace. I breathed deeply and tried to distract myself by looking at the book in my hands. Meanwhile, a second woman sashayed over and attached herself and her pile of selected books to the ring-leader of the line cutters. Now she had invited two friends to jump in!
The trio of friends chirped like bluebirds; the first woman cast smiles in my direction, trying to draw me into their conversation. I found myself smiling back at her. Then a third friend swooped in, inflicting one final delay just as I was about to reach the cashier. By that point, I actually saw the humor in it. Better to laugh than stew over some slight offense.
As I was in the lobby leaving the event, I happened to see the magnet woman who had pulled in her entire Book Club. “Thanks for letting my friends join me in the line,” she said.
“It’s fine,” I said, happy that I actually meant it.
This ability to re-establish good humor is not my nature; it blossoms and blooms only by abiding in his surrounding love.
*****
Reflecting on the Three Scenarios
- Getting locked out of the gym. This type of problem — distress due to a technical snafu or a fumble in the game of modern life — is good territory to begin practicing serenity. The opponent is actually under our control, because it isn’t the locked door; the opponent is the prevalent first-world tendency to overreact and view an ordinary set back as a personal mini-crisis. Help is available. God is eager to rewire the brain. He can grant us the self awareness to recognize when we are getting flustered. Often, if we will stop, calm ourselves, and observe the situation with detachment, we will discover something immensely helpful.
- Cleaning a disgusting bathroom. This type of problem is more challenging. In reality, making a noble sacrifice for someone else means bumping up against the physical reality of whatever is required: tackling a nasty job; losing a night’s sleep; going without food, money, or leisure time. Sometimes, life requires tough things of us, things we would rather avoid. Christ is aware of our frailty and weakness. He will train us to turn our eyes away from ourselves — and our self pity — to gaze upon Him. After resting in the richness of his love, we can fulfill our duties and give more deeply because He has filled us up with his goodness.
- Being patient with a line jumper. This type of problem is perhaps the most challenging because we find ourselves feeling insulted or offended. This time, the opponent is not under our control. This time it’s a person whose interests are in conflict with our own. Often thoughtless people are brash; they continue to push our hot buttons, despite sensing our annoyance, as if trying to test our limits. Eventually, we may respond rudely, angrily, or defensively. To avoid striking back, it helps to create space by whatever means possible. Turning our attention inward and asking, in faith, for divine grace can help us let go of our angry feelings. If we have spent intimate time with the Lord, we can remember that He loves every soul and asks us to love them on his behalf.
How do I begin?
So what does this Centering Prayer look like, in practical terms? Eyes closed, you sit comfortably yet erectly in a quiet room. Calmly breathing, you attempt to rid your mind of its restless and scattered thoughts. You are invited to rest in this sacred space like a child curled up in her mother’s lap.
Sometimes settling down can be tricky; there are tools available to help. You may focus on your breath, or mentally repeat a sacred phrase, such as peace of God. It’s often beneficial to link your phrase with your breath like this: inhale to “peace”; exhale to “of God”. Repeat the cycle for several minutes, until you feel centered on the holy in the present moment.
Another tool, suggested by one of the modern giants of Centering Prayer, the late Father Thomas Keating, is to glance inwardly toward the envisioned face of Christ. Whatever tool you use, eventually you will let go, float toward God, and merely exist. Until your mind starts chattering, and you become distracted! At that point, simply begin again, renewing your intention to be in communion with God.
There is no success or failure here. Because you are a mercurial creature, your results will fluctuate. One day you may sense the overwhelming presence of God’s love as you practically float off your prayer cushion. The next day, you may succumb to thoughts about duties or concerns. You can’t seem to let go and soar.
All sessions are moral wins because —you showed up for this difficult work. Guided by the Holy Spirit, you are in the daunting process of rewiring your brain; you are expanding narrow lanes and barricading faulty pathways. You are allowing the Spirit to create new, high-speed networks which will transform your ability to recognize and receive Divine help.
If your first attempts feel wobbly, don’t despair. Keep it up. What counts is growing the fruits of this practice.
Watch our Centering Prayer video series, available 02/15/2019 on YouTube @ Pringle Franklin Channel
Leave a commentPosted on January 28, 2019By Pringle Franklin
