That dress kept attracting me

By Felicia Anderson Evans

CHARLESTON—Our fifth wedding anniversary was on the horizon when Tim and I decided to plan a small vow renewal ceremony. Months before the event, I saw a wedding photo of the singer Brooke Waggoner on her latest album cover. Tim and I have pretty different tastes in musicians, but our tastes converged with Brooke Waggoner. We had listened to her songs many times while dating. Her music was so special to us that we played her albums almost exclusively at our wedding reception. 

Remarkably, Brooke was wearing the exact dress which I had nearly worn for Tim’s and my wedding back in 2010. While I was shopping for my bridal gown, that dress kept attracting me, but for various reasons, I had ended up not getting it.

Seeing Brooke’s picture gave me a crazy idea. What if I could wear that dress now, for our special ceremony? Out of curiosity, I went online and found the dress on a  bridal wear website that was having a big sale. Even with the discount, the dress was still out of our budget. Recently we’d had our second child, and money was tight. Anything I wanted outside of necessities came from either birthday or Christmas money given by family.

Yet in the days that followed, I dreamed about wearing that dress as a symbol of the hopes Tim and I had for future artistic collaborations. Tim is a professional musician, who has led worship for several churches in the Charleston area. Around that time, we’d begun trying to work together to make worship music.  Despite being an artist as well, and having grown up singing in St. Philips Church choirs, I found myself intimidated by Tim’s outstanding voice and almost genius level of musical expertise. Even so, we both wanted to make music together for Jesus, and seeing that dress on the album cover felt like an encouraging sign.  

Christmas was about a month away. When family members asked what I wanted, I wondered: would  they possibly consider helping me buy that dress for our ceremony in the spring? Right away, almost everyone said I was being silly and just laughed it off. I could understand why my family felt that I was afflicted with temporary insanity: buying expensive clothes had never been my style. Since I love to find good deals at Goodwill and consignment stores, buying a dress over $30 was a rare event for me. 

By the time I had the chance to mention the anniversary dress to my Dad, I was already letting it go in my heart. Perhaps I was being foolish, and even selfish, for suggesting that the family chip in for a pricey dress. What was I thinking? I tried to smile at him and say I was fine and change the subject, but he wouldn’t let the idea drop. He knew it wasn’t like me to ask for something like this, and he seemed to think it was important.

“Is this what you really want for Christmas, more than anything else?”

I sheepishly nodded. Right then and there, he gave me a check for his portion. This was a huge deal because my hardworking Dad was always so thrifty. He wore clothes until they were literally falling apart. Because he took me seriously, everyone else decided to go ahead and humor me as well.

When I went back to the bridal wear site to order the gown, my dream capsized. Fine print at the bottom of the screen stated that this particular dress was excluded from the big sale.  

What. A. Bummer. Of course, I wasn’t going to ask anyone to buy it for me at full price. However, I didn’t find myself overly distraught. The fact that my family (especially my Dad) had been willing to spend that money on something close to my heart (even though it had seemed ridiculous) meant the world to me.

My mom suggested that I go down to a local store featuring secondhand wedding dresses. I agreed, although I didn’t think I would find what I was looking for over there. My low expectations were confirmed as I looked through the rack: the gowns were way too large, and they seemed old and gaudy.

I thanked the sales lady and prepared to leave, but then decided to check the back room. I turned the corner and, all of a sudden, my dream dress was hanging there on display. It was even in my preferred shade of ivory—which had not been available online. My heart raced as I moved closer to check the tag. Unbelievable! The size was nearly perfect, and the price matched what I had collected to spend—what the online dress would have cost, had it actually been on sale.

Naturally I bought the gown and wore it with joy for our ceremony (as well as for several more wedding anniversaries). In 2016, my father died unexpectedly. The beautiful wedding dress will always remind me of when my Dad saw my heart and believed in something that seemed frivolous  to others, but which was important to me.

To me, this dress is a symbol of how much God cares for every detail of our lives, including our outlandish dreams. Even if everyone else thinks it is ridiculous (even you at times), if something matters to you, it matters to Father God.  He may not always answer our hopes and prayers exactly as we would like, but He will always treasure our hearts and the dreams that come forth from them. 

If you were wondering, at times I still feel intimidated to sing, worship, and create art with Tim. But, when I think about the God who miraculously provided me with that anniversary dress as a symbol of hope for our collaboration as a couple, I know that my talents are enough. God values our love songs to Him, and I will sing them out, even if occasionally my voice shakes.

 Remember: what is important to you is important to our Father God. Never be afraid to pour your heart out to Him.