With Advanced Cancer, Facing the Unknown
Preston Hipp wears an ice hat to prevent hair loss during chemotherapy in June of 2014
Editor’s note: Preston Hipp has been battling inoperable, aggressive prostate cancer since September 2008. His story was featured here in “Living Through Years of Plenty, Years of Lack” in Feb. 2014. For seven years, hormone therapy and chemotherapy had kept his cancer under control. In May 2015, Preston had an emergency colostomy on the day after his 55th birthday because his cancer had blocked his colon. He also had a stint placed in his left ureter to relieve blockage. Eventually the cancer blocked his urethra, forcing him to use a catheter to urinate. On October 22, 2015, Preston learned that his cancer has begun to grow again. The following are his experiences and reflections as he faces the unknown with faith.
by Preston Hipp
Oct. 27, 2015
Health update: I found out last Thursday that my PSA levels have risen enough to put me back on chemotherapy. It is not good news. The hormone therapy only works for awhile, then the cancer learns how to feed itself through other means.
God is still lovingly sovereign. He has a plan and a purpose for my suffering.
Oct. 31, 2015
I woke up Thursday with a very high level of blood — including clots — in my urine. Lovely right?
The stint in my left ureter has to be replaced every six months. It is not uncommon for the stints to cause bleeding. I was used to some blood but this level was new territory for me.
When the blood kept clogging up my catheter, I said to myself, “I guess I know what I will be doing this morning. Going to my urologist’s office without an appointment.”
My urologist had actually told me to go to the emergency room if this happens, but I hate emergency rooms. After a wait at my urologist’s office, I finally was placed in an examination room. The nurse did a double take when she saw the urine sample.
Things sped up after that.
There were still a few minutes with just me and the container of red urine sample in the room. That is a moment for reflection. A moment when an active relationship with God is a valuable thing to have.
Heavenly Father, this situation is pretty scary. It would be great if You could hold my hand some. Thanks.
The doctor came in with a large syringe and special catheter to flush out my bladder. While he flushed and sucked out a bowel full of blood and clots from my bladder, he told me great stories about a mission trip he had taken to Indonesia after the tsunami. He was in a very remote village with few resources. A woman with a distended belly and intense pain came to the field clinic. A wall had fallen on her back and caused internal bleeding. She had a lot of blood and clots in her bladder. The doctor told me the woman was the first case of female genital mutilation he had seen.
Suddenly, I did not feel so bad about my situation. God had answered my prayer. The doctor left my catheter in, gave me a syringe for home use and said the hospital would call me with the earliest slot available to swap out my stint.
***
Medical treatments for cancer will create a lot of firsts in your life. I remember the first time I used a catheter a few years ago. I had never conceived of the concept, especially for a man in his mid 50s. The female nurse handed me a catheter, told me how to insert it, pointed to the bathroom and said she would help me if needed.
That was strange feeling when the bathroom door shut. You know what you need to do but you sure don’t feel like doing it. I did succeed because I was very determined not to need help. So here I am with another first, walking out of the hospital with a permanent catheter. I felt like a cowboy, bow legged and not walking too fast.
But now it is Saturday morning and the catheter is yesterday’s news. I am pondering my “to do” list and thankful for another day of life. Thanks be to God.
Nov. 3, 2015
I spent six hours (2:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.) in the hospital yesterday only to be sent home with nothing done. That’s called a “no hitter” in baseball.
The poor guy before me must have been a train wreck. I did pray mercy and favor for him throughout my stay.
Before going to the hospital, I had a light breakfast of toast and coffee, but I was not allowed to eat or drink after that. Because the procedure kept being postponed, I went about 12 hours without food.
I have a heightened sense of appreciation for good Muslims who do not eat or drink from sunrise to sunset during the month of Ramadan. That takes some focused faith. Gum is helpful. Is that cheating?
As the day passed fruitlessly, the waiting and wondering began to wear on me. There is room for improvement for communication in a hospital pre-op. A surgical unit is a complicated beast with plenty of variables outside of anybody’s control, namely the patient’s. For a long time they tell you nothing, then transition to vagaries and, as a last resort, tell you what the deal is. It reminds me of an airport when they “don’t know where the airplane is”. Really?
The hospital staff wanted to push me back to next Monday. Not an option since I start chemo that day. I am waiting for a phone call to see when they can squeeze me in today.
To be honest, all of this is discouraging and frustrating. I appreciate the prayers of my family and friends.
God is good. Father, help me trust Your purposes and glorify You.
Nov. 10, 2015
There is always room for improvement for my attitude of grace under pressure.
It was pouring rain and high tide when my wife and I started for the hospital. In downtown Charleston, high tide and rain cause flooding that paralyses traffic. Miraculously, Laura and I made it to the valet parking at the Hollings Cancer Center by 9:20 a.m. with no problems.
We stepped out of the elevator and a thought crashed into my mind: I forgot to bring even one catheter. That seems impossible since I cannot urinate without one, but you would be surprised how easily you can forget. I was surprised because I had clearly thought about it when I was packing my tote bag for the hospital. They call them distractions for a reason and apparently I had gotten distracted.
Nothing else to do but run back down to the valet parking area and hope my car was still there. It was gone and still pouring rain. The valet folks were not having a wonderful Monday morning.
I told Laura where I keep a stash of catheters in a drawer in the back of my car and went back inside to check in. Laura eventually found me as I was waiting my turn to see my oncologist. She had one catheter in her hand. Apparently the valet did not see the larger bag of catheters and had brought only the one.
I guess it’s just going to be one of those days, Lord.
Laura had been working on her tour business and unable to attend my last meeting with my oncologist. He had recommended that I begin a course of chemotherapy for the second time in this battle. Laura needed more information before she could feel good about seeing me go through that again. She had a list of thorough questions that indicated I was going to need that catheter before this was over. Dr. Lilly was very gracious and helpful answering questions and wading through the options.
I cannot overstate the importance of this step. It is hard to have PEACE if you do not KNOW you are using the BEST option.
Two thirds of the way through their discussion, I decided to use my catheter.
I was happy to get out of the room for awhile.
I had resolved this issue about undergoing a second course of chemotherapy in the last meeting. This meeting was for Laura.
Lord, please give her Your Peace. Amen.
After the meeting I went back to the valet station to get my car keys. Mercifully, it had quit raining.
I had a pleasant walk through the stand-still traffic to my car to get the rest of the catheters. It was noon when I got back to the hospital so I stopped in the café for a bowl of soup.
I enjoyed it on a bench with a view to the street.
People, cars, and buses streamed by trying to salvage their Monday.
I felt guilty not going back to Laura, but the hot soup was in a Styrofoam bowl. She, rightfully, has a long, educated spiel about the evils of Styrofoam that I did not feel like hearing again right now.
The soup and silence were just what I needed.
The day was only half over.
I found Laura and reported to the infusion department to begin the chemical treatment.
One of the hardest parts about the infusion department is seeing the other patients on the tail end of their journey. They wear masks for germs but the masks do not begin to cover their weariness.
They are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Lord, more hope and strength please. Amen.
I was escorted to my infusion compartment. Hospitals do not have a lot of privacy so you are exposed to whatever is going on around you.
The older I get the more I like silence. Silence allows me to think.
There are a lot of TVs in hospitals, usually tuned into inane game shows like “The Price is Right” with the volume set way too loud. It keeps me up on the prices of major appliances and vacation packages.
The nurse came back with her gear: needle, tubes, and bags.
There are two qualities you want in an infusion nurse: first, that they can get the needle in the first try without a lot of fishing around for your vein.
Second, that they are pleasant.
The first quality is way more important, but the second one helps.
The nurse was great, and I settled into my book.
A contestant jumped and screamed ecstatically over winning a trip to Cancun. My TV neighbor did not notice since he was asleep.
Lord, Help me adjust. Amen.
I read awhile and took a nap myself.
Of necessity, sleep is always interrupted by activity. You go through three different bags of fluid before you get to the chemo. One is for anti-nausea. I forget what the other two are for.
You know when the chemo bag arrives because it comes double bagged and with an extra nurse.
You tell both of them your name and birthday one more time.
They read the information off the bag to each other.
I’m OK with that system. I shudder to think about the mistakes that mandated it.
Lord, keep everyone focused. Amen.
My lifelong buddy, Barre Butler, came by for a visit.
He hasn’t missed a session yet. He has an incredible memory, especially for our childhood. Barre remembers every song we learned in kindergarten, even the accompanying hand motions. His visits after my colostomy would kill me because my laughing made my stitches hurt.
Good stories do pass time effectively.
We were back at the valet station by 4 p.m. A long but successful day. Thank you, Lord.
***
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” Psalm 23:4
Nothing is proven true until it is tested.
Talking about life after death from a distance is a totally different experience than knowing death might be around the next bend. Believing in life after death crushes all of death’s power over you.
I still have plenty of angst about my remaining days on earth and the process of dying, but there is no permanence to these feelings of distress.
Jesus died for my sins and conquered death. Sharing in His victory for eternity is true joy and freedom.
I do not have a bucket list other than spending time with my family and friends. 
Part of me can’t wait to cast this diseased body aside and go to heaven. No more catheters, colostomy, cancer, chemo, needles, hospitals. In the meantime, my suffering has given me fresh revelation of Jesus’ love.
Philippians 3: 10 says, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings.”
The very thing we abhor, suffering, is a portal to the depth of Jesus’ perfect love we cannot experience from a place of health and strength. Reading and reflecting on Bible verses nourishes me.
Am I perfect? No! Do I fear? Yes! Am I comforted? Miraculously so.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” I John 4:18
***
Postscript: A few points worth mentioning about the ice hat photo: first, the shirt I am wearing belonged to my brother, Charley, who went through chemotherapy and fought bravely in 2009-2010. I wore the shirt to honor him and inspire me.
Second, the hat. The knee jerk comment is, “What are they doing to the poor guy! He has to do chemo and look like a total goofball too?”
I am wearing one of five hats with a neoprene outer shell and a gel core. The hats are cooled to below freezing with dry ice and rotated every 30 minutes. The idea is to cool your blood flow to your follicles and minimize hair loss. They are standard procedure in England. Our friend Victoria Hanham went to an inordinate amount of trouble to get the hats for me. The first five minutes are really intensely cold, but then it is not too bad. The hat trick worked, and I did not lose my hair during my first course of chemo.
41 Comments
Preston , you have been on this joinery much too long and your faith and honesty is a blessing for all of us that love you and Laura and the girls . May God have mercy and cont. to uphold you with His Mighty Arms of faith to believe He is really still working His plan for your life even tho it dosen’t seem like a plan you opted for . I love you and the strength , courage andyour trust in your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is a testimony for us all who pray for you in this test of your faith which you are passing with flying colors . Love you , one of my children in the Lord .
Preston, thank you for revealing not only how you are feeling emotionally but also the details of your physical condition. Enabling us to understand the full picture of your situation makes it easy to see how you are being carried through this struggle. Beautifully written. You are in my prayers.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. We marvel at just how much you and your family has endured so valiantly. We are so blessed with your friendship and your testimony. May God comfort you and your lovely family.
Preston.
Once again, I am moved to a deeper part of myself and the value of faith from reading your testimony. I join with others in praying mightily that God will continue to reveal himself in and through you as you have touched so many lives, and that your family be strengthened by his grace and peace.
Preston – Bambi Downs here. Haven’t seen much of you since we moved to Grace in April, and my youngest left First Baptist last year, but wanted to tell you that you, Laura, and your family remain in my prayers: for strength, healing, comfort, and peace. I see Laura tooling around town with her tour business, the picture of professionalism in a sea of challenge. Thank you for inspiring us all with your strength and faith. I so greatly respect you. <3
Wow what a way to start my day! So sorry to hear of your recurring health issues but so amazed to read your testimony. Life throws so many challenges at all of us, but with faith, family and friends all things are possible. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during this time and if I can help you or your family in any way please reach out to me…I’m always here for you!! With God all things are possible!!
Hey Preston, my brother stumbled across this all the way in California so you never know how far and wide your story may reach. God uses stories as a powerful tool to encourage, inspire, and teach and yours does just that. Thank you for your faithfulness and for pointing towards Christ always.
What a joy to read all of these messages to Preston. He and Laura are much loved, and they need your prayers and support now more than ever. May the Lord work in all of our hearts at this time, and may He pour his perfect love and healing onto Preston.
Preston,
As another one of the Griffin rapscallions who grew up across the street from you, I am honored to lift you up in prayer. God’s got this, as you already know. You have inspired me with your journal entries and I pray that you will be completely healed as your doctors seek the perfect treatments for you. Although I now live near Savannah, I hope to see your smiling face in person one day soon. Much love to you and your family.
Preston,
Someone sent me your post today and I immediately recognized your name from growing up. I am the youngest of the 6 Griffin kids across the street. I was closer to Charley and Herbie Butler’s age. From Burning Tree Road all the way to Jesus Street.
With all the tragedy in your family over the years, your faith has stood the test of time. You are an amazing man of God. I hope I get to “re-meet” you and Laura this side of Heaven! In Christ, Maggie Myatt (Margaret Griffin)
Preston, your story is such a testimony of your faith and strength. I wondered why I haven’t seen you and Chester out on your walks the past couple of weeks. Your house has been so quiet. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Laura and your lovely family. I hope to see you and your four legged side-kick strolling the neighborhood soon! Hugs from Caroline and Emma
Preston, it has been years since we kept each other sane at PC. Momma sent me this via email. Your faith in your journey is amazing and inspiring. I wouldn’t have thought you would be any other way. May God surround you, Laura and your family with his perfect peace.
Preston, I haven’t seen you in years and was totally unaware of your battle with prostate cancer. However, thanks to John Settle & Facebook I now know. I will be praying for comfort for you as well as another recovery. I was diagnosed with it 4 years ago and had my prostate removed & went through a round of radiation but, fortunately, I am well today. My younger brother went through chemo this past summer to battle Hodgkins Lymphoma & has had success so far. Bottom line…CANCER SUCKS! You have to fight the good fight and your faith in God will get you through it. I will pray for you brother! If there is ever anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to contact me.
God Bles You Preston, your words are an inspiration, your honesty and love of your family and of God are a model for us all in this often brutal and unpredictable world. I had no idea of your illness, please know that you are a model of love, generosity and a sense of humor in the face of grave adversity. Love to you and your family.
Only Preston could still seduce any woman he wants while wearing an ice cap! He carries all our hearts together; I’m just the privileged one who gets to wear the ring. Thank you all for loving him with me. He is the man I prayed for in many journals before we met at Rockville on Mobjack, my family’s sailboat. I just did not know this cancer would be part of the journey. Having been a granola girl even in high school, I thought we were better than this. I pride myself in no shortcuts in cooking, all real whole food. Oh the humbling power of cancer, no respecter of persons. The bottom line is what brought Preston and me together: The Lord God Almighty is worthy of all we endure in this life. In Him we live and move and have our being. We see glimpses of the eternal in the beauty around us. I said to Preston how wonderful it will be to be free of sin and all that weighs us down and divides us, to love each other wholly and perfectly in heaven. Preston said, “I’ll be able to listen to you talk for ever and ever without having to leave to take Chester out for a walk!” He always makes me laugh and not take it all too seriously.
Preston, your faith is an inspiration to us all. God Bless you and Laura as you continue down this path. Please know that our prayers are with you.
Thank you Rhoads. That means a lot
coming from a man who has endured
much personal suffering.
Susan, We are blessed to have your
love in our lives. Your selfless service
has blessed us in more ways than i can count. 🙂
Preston,
I am sorry to hear of the situation that you are going through. I am most impressed with the courage and faith that you have shown. Nobdy understands why we have to suffer in life , but as you stated it brings us closer to God and Jesus. Let me know if I can help you or your family in any way.
Preston – there is not much that I could add to the get well prayers and good wishes that have been stated so eloquently above. Never the less, best wishes and prayers to you and your family (and good luck with the hair!). Gaines
Dear Preston, You and Laura are such testimonies to the power of faith. You both continue to have deep and true joy in life, that which transcends ordinary happiness. You are an inspiration. I am blessed to be friends with both of you. Love, Susan
I want to thank you for your display of courage and grace under pressure. I just happened upon your posts, read them all, and was saddened but inspired. Your faith, attitude and serenity are amazing. My family will keep you and your family in our prayers.
One of the pleasant surprises of my
condition is the depth and variety of
responses of support. I am strengthened by your encouragement.
You are my hero, brother. I am weeping for your losses, and praying for strength for your journey. I also sometimes long for Heaven, but we would all like to choose the day and the hour, the nature of our leavetaking, and the level of suffering involved. These choices are not given to us. Your faith will continue to sustain you and inspire us. May Jesus hold you very, very close. I cherish every hug and encouraging word we have shared through the years, and look forward to more. Shalom.
Preston,
Elizabeth Rivers here 🙂
I am so humbled by your faith and grace in the face of suffering. I have been following your progress through my dad, Tommy Rivers and have prayed for you on numerous occasions. I did not know this site existed and am so glad Becky shared it on FB. I am a believer and have been struggling so much lately over some life issues, and have found myself distancing myself from God and the church. Never from His love and saving grace, but from the constant communion I once shared. Your words have brought me up short, to what really matters. I can deeply appreciate your experiences as I am a nurse. Not an oncology nurse (the most incredible breed, I think) but I work in the NICU at UVA and am no stranger to intense family suffering, confusion and anger. Through my 20 years in neonatology and pediatrics, I have always been amazed by the journeys of the believing families. So totally different and, to use that word again, humbling. I have often ventured out to share the fact that I too was a follower of Christ, and the prayers and connections that have followed are forever etched in my mind. I still have relationships with many of my “graduates” and their families.
All that is to say, thank you brother for sharing what gets you through this. Thank you for reminding me that our God is a God of the here and now and He walks with us every step of the way, sees every tear we shed, even when we are distracted and don’t realize it. Please tell me how I can specifically pray for you and your family. Love in Christ, Elizabeth
Preston,
I grew up across the street from your family in the sixties in Country Club #2 and have some great memories of “hanging out” with Bonnie at your home. I am sorry to see that you are going through this challenge in your life but am elated to see that Jesus Christ is walking by your side during this ordeal. I pray that His healing hand will touch you and that His spirit will encourage you through this time. I have shared this message with my brothers and sisters to also keep you in their prayers.
God bless,
Phil
Dearest Preston,
Thank you for sharing your story and your faith. You are doing God’s work in this way, I am sure. We are here for you, Laura and the girls Love you always. Madeleine
Preston, I don’t know if we’ve met, but I’m Becky Baird ‘ s nurse for many years. I know Laura and watched your two beautiful girls grow up.
I’ll pray for you during your next chemo journey. May God always be with you at each appointments to comfort you. MAY God continue to protect you against this set back. HE is always by your side to comfort you. Continue to be a good and faithful servant and trust in God’s way. Take care.
Preston, you have given me a great gift in sharing your faith as you are on your journey with cancer. I will save what you have written, read it many times, and pray inspired by you and the your faith.
God bless and keep you,
Pam Valleni
(Laura Basile’s mother. I meet your family when Sarina and Delia were about 2 !/2 years old.)
Preston, I have not seen or spoken with you in far too long. You have, however, remained in my prayers, as have your dear Laura & sweet girls. Your faith & courage never cease to strengthen mine. God is already using you & your faith through your cancer as a mighty warrior witness. I will continue to pray for you & I will see you soon. Love & God’s Peace. Jane
Preston, I met you many years back when John Guest came to Charleston. I had no idea until today what you have been facing in these recent years. But I will be praying for you now. I am not really surprised that you are the same strong believer today that you were back then. May God comfort you and your family during every step of this journey.
Preston, There is no stronger witness to God’s glory than someone who has endured great suffering as you have and continues to live with such faith, gratitude and grace. So uplifting to see that you and Laura and your dear family have chosen to take the enormous challenges and fears you have all faced and “Trust it all to God”! We will continue to lift you all up high in prayer !
Preston….thanks for putting your thoughts on paper. It might be therapeutic to you by documenting your thoughts and feelings, it could be something to pass time…? I appreciated your heart and thoughts of what you’re going through. Your blog post put us in your shoes. You’re covered with healing prayers as He is our greatest physician; in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Dear Preston, you continue to be an inspiration to me and so many others. God so clearly has His hand on you as you continue your journey. Sending much love and prayers. Nancy
You and your family have touched the lives of many. I lift you in prayer, Preston. Please know how much I care for you and yours. God Bless, Janis Breazeale
Mr Hipp – you are constantly in both my family’s and my prayers. You mean a great deal to my father — we are always thinking of you 🙂 Stay strong!
My Brother,
Thank you for sharing so perfectly, and for demonstrating abiding faith in the face of gut-wrenching circumstances.
Having been with you for a little while on November 1, and at the time knowing nothing and discerning nothing of the details shared above, I can say conclusively that I have no desire to engage you in even a friendly game of poker!
That said, my love and prayers are with you and for you. Thanks ever so much for your example and your inspirational encouragement!
God is good!
d black
Catherine, Thank you for your kind words. Weakness teaches us a lot about life we miss when we are strong. God, family, friends, people are the joy of life. God knew what He was doing when in introduced me to Laura at Rockville in 1984! I pray God’s Presence in your reflective search. He is always ready to give us a hand up closer to Him. With Love, Preston
Oh Preston, thank you for sharing. There is so much to say, but I’m going to stick to this: I want to be more like you.
Thank you.
God meets us at our point of need.
Thank you for the encouragement!
Preston I think you look quite dashing in that ice hat. Not many men would. Reading about your journey and your faith makes me realize how far away I have removed my self from God. Your words and your strength are incredible. I don’t know what to say except you are a good and faithful servant. I need to stop and reevaluate a lot of things in my life. Thank you. I have always loved Laura and I am so happy she is there for you.